Gift & Giver: the Holy Spirit for Today by Craig Keener
Praying With One's Spirit
Today some segments of Christendom emphasize the mind to the exclusion of other aspects of the human personality; other groups emphasize emotion to the exclusion of reason. Tongues are not primarily rational; those of us who emphasize rationality in other aspects of our faith may especially need the kind of emotional release tongues provide. To illustrate the value of "praying with one's spirit" (1 Cor. 14:14-16), even when one does not immediately comprehend what one is praying, I offer the following account known to me.
A North American seminary student got into a loud debate with his Bible interpretation professor over the interpretation of a verse in Philippians, and for the rest of the day he felt incomprehensibly threatened. He knew he needed to apologize to the professor for losing his temper, but why was the debate bothering him so much? He began to pray in tongues, and as his spirit prayed, his mental defense mechanisms were no longer in a position to suppress his true feelings. As he poured out his heart in tongues, the Spirit also began to provide the interpretation for what he was feeling. He realized that he felt threatened by authority figures because he had always felt threatened by his father (the one authority figure he had known in his formative years) . As long as he could remember, his father had always ridiculed whatever he said, no matter how hard he sought to defend himself with valid arguments. As the buried feelings continued to pour forth, he realized something else he never would have verbalized: He had felt hatred toward his father. As he continued to pray, however, he began to weep, realizing how much he also had always loved his father.
The next day he apologized to his professor, who also apologized to him and declared, "But now we'll be better friends for it." But the seminarian still had to deal with his father, who was not a Christian and with whom he had never had an intimate conversation. He began praying about resolving his relationship with his father, and that summer, for the first time in a few years, he traveled to see his father. One afternoon, when the other family members were out of the house, he found his father reading a newspaper. "Dad, may I speak with you?" he asked. Even trying to open the subject was difficult. "Sure, son," his father responded, the newspaper still in front of his face. "Dad, what I'm about to tell you - I'm not saying that you were like this, just that this was my perception of you when I was growing up. Dad, I never felt I could talk with you about anything. I felt like you never listened to anything I had to say, and I felt I hated you for that. But I want to let you know that I'm really sorry for having felt that way, because I really love you now."
With the paper still in front of his face, his father responded, "That's all right, son. That's how every kid feels about his dad." But the young man knew that he himself had done what was required of him.
Later, the seminarian's mother asked him what he'd spoken with his father about that day. "He's been acting differently ever since then," she observed, noting that he was now spending time with his youngest son, who remained at home. When he told his mother what his father had said, she responded, "That's how he felt about his father, but he never made peace with him before he died." Today, the father and son freely express their love for each other.
Because of a prayer from his spirit, the seminarian was able to resolve some emotional conflicts that he might never have admitted he had. He was able to break a transgenerational cycle of pain because his spirit could be honest about feeling something his mind had not wanted to admit.
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